aspiration – (n.) something great that you hope to achieve one day
How do you find your aspirations in your 20s?
Call it an aspiration, your purpose, or your hopes and dreams. How do you find it? That is the question. We grow up being asked what our dreams our as children. Unless our dream is to be a doctor or something of that sort, as we grow up our dreams start to seem unrealistic. We start searching for it again because life is better when you have a reason. It’s the passion that drives you and makes life feel ecstatic. I found my aspirations talking to a friend.
It was the dead of winter and the day was dull. I’m walking to my car after class, when an old friend from high school crossed my mind. He and I weren’t close. We simply ran in the same circle. I remember him as always goofy but closed off. He’d been in the military for awhile and I hadn’t heard from him. The last time I texted him, he never replied so I was holding a grudge. Something told me to text him anyways.
The day I reached out, he was in the middle of a desert and he told me he’d get back to me. In retrospect, he told me that he had to go and find 2 bars of signal just to send me that one text. It’s silly to me but I’m glad that he did.
At the time, I was still going through a breakup so he kept me company on the phone. We called almost every night. When it was 8 pm for him, it was 10 pm for me. I was in college and working a full time job. He had to get up at 5 in the morning most days, yet we stayed up late talking. His voice was soft and kind for me, and I fell asleep to it.
One night, we were sharing what we find attractive in others. “I think people who have a lot of hobbies are cool,” he shared. I reflected on that. Do I have any hobbies? I couldn’t think of anything. Hobbies are things people do consistently in their free time. There wasn’t anything that I was dedicated to like that. After a bit of a pause, he chimed, “You have a lot of hobbies.”
“What? I do?” I asked. He listed some of the things and pointed out that when our friends go out, I’d always be really good at whatever activity we were doing. “Oh, yeah I do a lot of things but I don’t think of them as hobbies, more like interests.”
“I’ve been playing pool more. I want get more hobbies because of you.” Wow, hearing him say that shocked me. I’ve never really valued this part of myself. His perspective of me was a revelation.
A few days later, I kept thinking about this particular conversation. He was inspired by me just being myself. Him sharing how I inspired him is inspiring me. All of sudden I felt a new sense of value in my interests.
I’ve always been someone with a curiosity for everything. In high school, I played the violin, painted, and learned to sew. I never take them seriously though. My interests are things I do casually and set aside for “serious” things in life like school and working. They’ve never been worth much to me. To him, theses interests are part of me and what make me fun to be around.
When I was talking to him, I felt passionate and more like myself. It was like soaking in the sun. I was inspired to be the best version of myself and the best version of me, is someone who pursued their aspirations.
I started to take my interests more seriously. I made a list of everything I want to try. It looked similar to a bucket list. Some of the things on my list include:
- learn to sing Fur Elise by Faouzia
- run a 5k
- do an art residence
- do a stage for a restaurant
- sew a dress by hand
- knit a sweater
- intern at an auto mechanic shop
- build a bed frame
- take bouldering classes
- rank in chess
- learn to swim competitively
- do a sprint triathlon
- make a website on a historical topic
- publish a poem book
- become a certified yoga instructor
It’s unlikely that I’ll ever do them all but- if I achieve even half of the things on the list, it’ll change me for the better. As Henry David Thoreau once said, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” The intention is to learn more about myself and what I like. My aspirations are a vehicle to finding myself.
Once again, how do you find your aspirations in your 20s? There is no one answer but I found my aspirations by realizing that the things I enjoy doing actually mattered to me. There is value in what we are curious about, find joy doing, and the things that we pursue in our free time. I say to go out and find what piques your curiosity. In the process, maybe you’ll discover yourself.
Some further advice is to let yourself be lost so that you can go on a journey of self discovery. While you are on this journey of finding yourself, practice appreciation for where you are and where you are going.
As I pursue each of my own aspirations, I will be sharing it on this blog. Whether you’re also in your 20s or reflecting, I hope you’ll stick around for the journey!